Random Review #3
17.2.2003 by Big D

Welcome once again to the "Random Review". This one is out of the Coliseum stack. I honestly can't remember the last time I watched this one, which may or may not be a good thing, because this tape is all about the...


[oops, got carried away there]

This sucker is from mid-89, as evidenced by the promo for "No Holds Barred". It's coming out soon, you know! Also some promos for Slim Jim's and anti-smoking. Did you know the Ultimate Warrior is gay? Neither did I, but that's what the popular word around here is...

Quick sidebar:
You know those ads that say "tobacco is whacko if you're a teen,,," ?
Does that mean if you're 12 or under, let it rip? Food for thought there.

Available 08.09.1989:
Best of the WWF 20, Demolition, and Fan Favorites

[usual 1988-9 WWF intro. That thing kicked ass. The one where they go alnog the water with the mountains in the background...]

[Video montage of the usual punches, clotheslines, posing, and rope-shaking]

[Warrior incoherently runs down the show. I love how they play Hercules up as a Greek superhero. You just can't make this stuff up.]

Warrior vs. Hercules
Man, what was the name of that black ring announcer? He was the guy at my first ever show in 1991. This is not from WrestleMania IV. I can just see where this one is going. Hernandez has a wimpy-looking chain here, and if that's not foreshadowing anything, I don't know what is. Almost as weak as the handcuffs that they used on Liz in 1988. Warrior and Herc with a tug-of-war, Herc cheats, and then they BREAK THE CHAIN. I guess that was pretty big stuff in 1988. And the match is over! Wait a minute, did it ever start? I'm so confused. The segment just drags on as Herc chokes Warrior, and then they brawl for a bit.

Incoherent promo, nothing of note. I do miss the "parts unknown" stuff though. The Warriors told him to go to SummerSlam for a destiny-changing event...

IC Title match: Honky vs. Warrior
"I got long sideburns, I got my hair slicked back..."

[oops, sidetracked again. That music kicked ass]

This is, of course, the SummerSlam match. Man, Honky sure had some real HEEL heat. Just great stuff. I don't know if anybody else noticed this, but back in those days, they had some little lights hung over the ring to simulate camera flashes. Anybody know why that was? Anyways, Honky wants a challenger. Warrior's music hits, and Monsoon has no idea who it is. Warrior hits the ring as Finkel heads for cover. Warrior with about 20 seconds of offense, followed by a particularly weak-looking splash to win the belt. Sure was a loud crowd pop though. You know, I can't think of too many people who were over as heels more than Honky. Bad match, but historical.

Jeez, 2 matches down and about 30 seconds of wrestling. Kinda like Raw these days.

Looks like a rematch, as Honky cuts a CLASSIC promo. Funny but as Honky makes sure that he is referred to as the IC HEAVYWEIGHT champion. Heh. This could be historic as Honky could become the first 2-time champion. If that was true, I didn't even know that.

Another incoherent promo by the Warrior.

IC Title: Warrior vs. Honky
The match barely gets underway, and Honky tries to leave, but Warrior presses him and carries him back. Warrior hits the DOUBLE NOGGIN-KNOCKER on Honky and Jimmy Hart. Man, there is some obvious canned heat here. The crowd is constantly cheering, although camera shots prove otherwise. Hart distracts the ref, and Honky goes to work with the megaphone. Honky and Hart cheat like bandits and it works pretty well, at least until he tries to ram Warrior's head into the corner, and it's no-sold. They trade places, and Honky oversells like a champ. Honky goes for a couple of clotheslines, but gets shoulderblocked, and that's that.

Another promo.

IC Title: Warrior vs Greg "The Hammer" Valentine
Ya know, here's a couple things that I miss:

1) The managers introduced first.
2) The real Hammer, NOT Bart Gunn at WrestleMania XV

I like the Hammer a lot, especially when Monsoon used to play up the fact that it took the Hammer a while to get warmed up. Not-so-fat-Tony on commentary here. Valentine and Hart get in the cheap shot with the shinguard to start. Man, this is a slow match. Lots of punching here. Hammer to the top rope, and you know that's a bad idea. Valentine misses, and Warrior goes for a move that appears to be a jawbreaker, but if it's that, it's not even close. Hart steals the shinguard from Hammer and tries for a sneak-attack on Warrior, but Warrior picks Hart up and throws him at Hammer, and Warrior finishes with a clothesline.

Warrior vs. King Haku
On commentary here are Billy Graham and some guy I have never heard before, but Graham calls him "Rod", so I'll go with that. Hey, I kinda like this guy. I miss the days when not every arena looked exactly the same. Warrior with the typical offense. Warrior with an atomic drop, but Haku can't sell them like like Honky, that's for sure. Warrior with some pretty loud chops, and then misses a charge...and Haku decides to go for some sort of rest-...err, NERVEhold, and Warrior powers out, and then Haku tastes turnbuckle. Warrior goes for the 10-count punch, but gets atomic dropped. Another nervehold, but Warrior powers out. Warrior goes for a splash, but Haku gets the knees up. More punching, but Hanu goes for ANOTHER nervehold. Ergh. Warrior powers out, and it's time for some rope-shaking. Warrior finally hits the splash to put this match out of its misery.

Another promo. Man, these are just pretty typical.


Title vs. Title: Randy Savage (WWF champion) vs. Warrior (IC champion)
It's kind of weird to see Savage here without anybody else...not Sherri or Elizabeth or anybody. Savage sort of looks like he's not interested in being there. Warrior with the usual junk, Savage comes back, goes for the double ax-handles, and gets hooked in the TREE OF WOE! Warrior gets a couple of shots in. Funny bit as Warrior picks up Marella and puts him on the top turnbuckle and tells him to stay out of it. Savage hits the ax-handle to the outside. Savage weakly slams Warrior into a chair at ringside. I mean, for a guy who piledrove a guy through a table in 1984, that's unacceptable. Savage with a LONG chinlock sequence, and then hits the ax-handles to the inside. Savage goes for a suplex, but it's reversed. Hey, it's Rick Rude! Rude poses to try and distract Warrior, but it's not working. Warrior goes for the splash, but Savage blocks. Savage tries to capitalize, but Warrior SHAKES THE ROPES. Warrior hits some punches, and then takes off after Rude, and we get a brief shot of Rude's underwear, for those of you who like that sort of thing. All three fight on the outside, but Savage is a genius and rolls back in at the last second to secure the win. Warrior and Rude celebrate but Warrior breaks it up, and Savage leaves Rude high and dry.

Super-Posedown: Rude vs Warrior, Royal Rumble 1989
Man, the commentary here is classic as Ventura slanders Okerlund for the tone of voice that he uses when he introduces Rude. I love the "equipment" that Rude uses to workout when he's not posing. Classic stuff as Heenan tries to butter up the crowd. Gorilla mentions that Ventura's biceps "never looked like that" while Jesse retorts that "at least I had biceps"."Best abdominals, Gorilla...that's where the bananas go". Just classic stuff. Heenan needs 15 minutes for Rude to get ready for the next pose. Heh. Anyways, you know what happens, as Rude kanks Warrior with the workout gear.

Highlights of the WrestleMania V title match. The ending surprised me, that's for sure. Probably a "pleasant" surprise. Rude wins with an assist from Heenan. I love hearing Ventura openly cheer for Rude...

Rematch: Warrior vs. Rude (1989.04.22)
Taped at Boston Garden. Schiavone and Alfred on the stick, and the match starts with Warrior pummeling Rude with the usual offense. Funny bit as Heenan distracts Warrior on the outside, Rude tries to hide for a sneak-attack around a corner, but it's thwarted as Warrior sneaks up from behind him. Warrior with an inverted atomic drop, and the expression on Rude's face is classic. But, they don't even show the end of the match.

Rematch: Warrior vs. Rude (1989.05.08)
Hey, this could be the same match, as Rude is getting pummeled again. I loved the wood stairs they used to use. I doubt they'd be UNFORGIVING, though. Anyways, more of the same, but they don't show the end of the match AGAIN. Ergh. Hmmmm, this tape may be breaking my VCR...

Another incoherent promo to close out the tape.

The Analysis:
I guess if you love the Warrior, and you like the same basic match a LOT and enjoy watching it A LOT, you'd better find this one ASAP. However, the really historical stuff is on other tapes, and the matches that are here are pretty bad, although the Savage match was actually not that bad. But I wouldn't go out of my way to get this one or anything.

This is my old project, THROWDOWN.

A group of friends and I put together this little project in 2003 as an outlet of out collective rage and anger about the subjects that each of us cared about. I was the editor-and-chief and games writer back then.

It was a blast to do and it to be involved in a great collaborative effort using the strengths of my friends was simply amazing. I hope you have fun reading our work as much as we had in creating it.

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