Nice try...
...say hi to the 3DO on your way out.
20.1.03 by The Angry Drunk

Any "console war" wouldn't be the same without it's laughingstock. Friends, welcome the Phantom from Infinium Labs.

What's that you say? Who is Infinim Labs?

Exactly. In what seems to be a remnant of the dot-com era of marketing pitch over realistic and substanitive goals, this new little company intends to "revolutionize gaming as we know it"...or some such garbage. Gaming Age is reporting that this newest fodder for the Jagaur bin is called the Phantom, and it's a BROADBAND-ONLY CONSOLE.

Their press release states:
Infinium Labs was formed by veteran entrepreneurs who have a successful track record in building large scale companies and advanced architectures for supporting massive eCommerce and enterprise applications. Combining skills from Telco, Data Communications, Digital Rights Management, Software Development and Security, the management team brings together a unique array of skills to develop the most robust next generation gaming console and delivery network on the market.

Let's look at this carefully, chums...this pre-failure is being built by failed dot-com'ers, copyright monkeys, and what looks like the RIAA. I'm sorry, but NO. Wrong. What about hiring away actual hardware developers and gaming experts? Let's delve further, shall we?

The Infinium Labs game console features a high tech design and offers ease of use for the variety of game players worldwide. The on-demand delivery system will appeal to hard-core gamers as well as casual users. The unique design architecture allows for delivery of a large number of games and the ability to participate in online massive multiplayer gaming.

Yeah, umm....say hello to X-BOX LIVE, you ninnys! Not to mention Sony's efforts to go online. On-demand delivery system, my ass. This thing is reeking of the failed philosophies of the Divx video system.

Oh, but there's more...this comes from their website as "developer benefits"...

As a game developer, imagine having a distribution system in place that can immediately get user feedback on your beta products or eventually self-publish to a broadband retail network. Moreover, foresee the ability to develop games on a nonproprietary system, which is Windows based, something relatively unheard of today. As a game publisher, conceptualize the capability of having a distribution system in place that can immediately place your products in front of the masses so it can be sold, subscribed to and demoed.

Imagine...forsee...conceptualize...it looks like some little speechwriter just took a community-college writing class and can't wait to unleash their verbal acumen. Here's a hint: when you put together a writeup, don't sound like a jackass...it's infuriating. Here's the kicker:

The advanced system provides game developers and publishers a secure and efficient software distribution system. Infinium Labs intends for game developers and publishers to reap greater profits using this new game delivery system.

DING, DING, DING!!!! There's the answer, my friends! It's about REAPING PROFITS. This company's phlosphy is all about delivering "secure content" without any word about what games will appear on this thing nor a titter on playability.

Here's the deal: This is a classic case of the basic philosophy of a company being WRONG. There's no way to buy a game and play it, you MUST have a broadband connection to use this thing thereby trying to bypass the traditional "delivery system" (Christ, I HATE marketing buzzwords) in order to squeeze as much blood from the stone as is possible. That may work two to three generations from now, but keep in mind that very few households have a broadband connection. Furthermore, for a system that's going for a 12/03 release, there has not been a WORD about games or third-party support. If released, this shitbox will be all about pushing substandard content to you, while pulling in as much money as possible for Infinium Labs.

Stay tuned, pop up some popcorn, grab a beer and watch the fun as the Phantom joins the 3DO, Jaguar, Nuon, Virtual Boy, and others in gaming's toilet.

fluuuussshhhhh...

This will be fun...

This is my old project, THROWDOWN.

A group of friends and I put together this little project in 2003 as an outlet of out collective rage and anger about the subjects that each of us cared about. I was the editor-and-chief and games writer back then.

It was a blast to do and it to be involved in a great collaborative effort using the strengths of my friends was simply amazing. I hope you have fun reading our work as much as we had in creating it.

throwdownsite@hotmail.com
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2003 The Throw Down Group
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