The Soap Box
Ten Tips to Keep Everyone Happy!
2003.1.14 - by Jasmine

Here are ten little things everyone in the dating/relationship stage should know, practice and preach.

1. The Three R’s: RESPECT, RECIPROCITY, and ROMANCE. These are the three tenants everyone should live by. They tie into each other quite well. Respect your mates decisions, opinions, everything! A good rule of thumb, treat your mate as you would want yourself to be treated. Which is great segway to reciprocity, do onto others as you would want to be treated. Again, a great segway to romance, be thoughtful, be aware of your mate’s likes and dislikes. But above all, don’t think romance will break you. There are so many thoughtful, romantic things people can do for each other and the only thing it’ll cost you is time. If you don’t believe me, you need to read, 1001 ways to be Romantic, by Gregory J.P. Godek.

2. Never tell a woman that you think that she is ‘High Maintenance’ (a.k.a. HM) unless you want to continue to be single. She just may fall into the “Romantic” category. And above all, don’t try to be cute or smart by trying to disguise such statement be placing it on yourself. For example, don’t tell her that you don’t see yourself as “High Maintenance Boyfriend Material”, because trust me, if she’s smart enough, she’ll see through your lame attempt of concealment and just think that you’re an ass (with a capital ‘A’).

3. Have a job when dating someone, especially if the other person falls into the category of HM. No one likes to have to always pick up the check. And don’t make excuses of why you don’t have a job. Quit your bitching and fucking get one!

4. If you can’t hold your own in a relationship—pay for yourself—don’t always expect the other person is going to pay. My advice: if you can’t afford what’s on the menu, don’t order it—this goes out to all the ladies who EXPECT the man to pay.

5. If you can’t afford to spend time, energy, money, affection in a relationship, don’t be in one. It wastes everyone’s resources.

6. Communicate! Talk to each other. Don’t expect for your mate to be able to read your mind. Besides, if you think he/she could, do you really think he/she would want to be with you?!? Share your thoughts and feelings about how you feel, or what you like about being in a relationship with the other person. If that still isn’t working for you, try talking about sports, music, movies, anything to keep the communication lines open

7. Listen! This is much more important that talking. If you can listen to each other and at least try to understand each other’s point of view. This will create a sense of trust between the two of you.

8. Trust! There is no relationship in this world that is not build around trust. If you don’t have that, you have nothing! If you think your mate is constantly cheating on you, or don’t believe what they are saying, you have some issues to work out with your mate.

9. Sharing means caring. I hate to quote that damn purple dinosaur, but the bastard has a damn good point. Share your thoughts, opinions—in a non-dominant ‘I’m right and you’re wrong’ sort of way—but most importantly, share your heart and yourself. This demonstrates that you indeed care.

10. Actions speak louder than words! If he is always saying he’s going to change, he’s not going to hit you/do drugs/cheat on you, etc. etc and he still continues to do those things, DUMP HIS SORRY ASS EXCUSE FOR A MAN. You can do much better. This works in the opposite way too. If he’s one of those quiet, shy, romantic types that doesn’t say much, but instead treats you like a princess, then that too says something. He respects and values you.

(Please feel free to print this out and give to anyone you think could use this valuable information. It just someday may save someone you know from committing heinous crimes against humanity.)

This is my old project, THROWDOWN.

A group of friends and I put together this little project in 2003 as an outlet of out collective rage and anger about the subjects that each of us cared about. I was the editor-and-chief and games writer back then.

It was a blast to do and it to be involved in a great collaborative effort using the strengths of my friends was simply amazing. I hope you have fun reading our work as much as we had in creating it.
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